What I Learned Today

At school.
Snails have antlers on their heads and sometimes they fight with other snails with their antlers.

Also from somewhere, (ironically, I can't for the life of me remember where I heard this )
"Being an artist means that I forget what you tell me five minutes later, but in a year, I can still remember the curl of a hair on your cheek."
Too true.

My chop of the day.
From this:

To this:

What Are You Looking At?

I had to take the bus today, and it remimded me of something I had blogged about before.

I have discovered that if you are out on the street (or maybe going down a long corridor) , and you recognize someone coming towards you, you should pretend that you don't see them, look to the left, right, floor, anything until you are about 8 feet away, then look up and exchange pleasantries.
Otherwise you are facing the ghastly prospect of recognizing them all the way, nods, smiles, goofy faces, shrugging, etc. You can only do so much of that.
On elevators, you can only glance at people once, twice, makes people wonder about you, and three times then you become an elevator stalker. Same thing applies to public transport. If you do look at someone too much and they catch you, you have to pretend that you are kind of looking off to the side of them with a vacant kind of stare.
My eyes can glaze over pretty damn quickly when the have to.
These are the rules of a good society.

Bras

Is there a woman alive that has large boobs that does not look forward to taking off her bra at the end of the day?

Brassieres have to fit perfectly and be well made or you get the back riding up, straps digging in, boob hanging out of the bottom, overflow bumps at the top, and the sides curving like a dam ready to burst. Even if you do get a good one, they lose their oomph fairly soon. Then the tugging, adjusting and misery begins. .
There are some advantages to wearing a bra, such as hiding, keys, money, snacks etc. They can be used as a slingshot or earwarmers on cold days, in a pinch.
However on the con side, they also become a catch-all for cookie crumbs and occasionally grapes or other small projectiles that people try to toss in your cleavage. It's a bugger having to live with large crumbs in your bra until you can find somewhere to have a good shake out. I won't talk about the sweat underneath your bosom on hot days, because I don't sweat.

Of course they can be sexy and pretty and put your puppies on display very attractively, and bras do provide support. However when you get older, it's not so much about display as it is just being corrective underwear, getting them to stay in place in the appropriate part of your body……..and corrective underwear sucks. Age is not a friend of tatas. I have come to a conclusion that by the time I am 65 they will be pants-tuckable. I am going to retire my bras and just stick my boobs in a nice cozy pair of socks.

Little Known Facts of The Playground

I wrote this a while go. I supervise at a school at noon hour so I am an expert, yes I am.

1. In a playground, when there is gravel (or some similar ground cover), if there is a "deposit" left by a wayward dog, rather than tell someone that there is poop on the ground so you can remove it, kids will bury it in the gravel, rendering it invisible.

2. Some kids like to pee and watch it go down the slide. We call these kids Scott.

3. Throwing up after twisting the swing around and around and around and around, and then letting it go to spin around and around and around, is common. This vomit on the ground can also be rendered invisible with the "cat- litterbox" method of covering it up.
::Note to nervous moms:: Throwing up like this is no sweat for a kid. They do it all the time, wipe their mouth with the back of their hand, wipe their hand on your pants when you go to check on them, and they are good to go.

4. In the sandbox, water, milk, juice, and ...uh...tinkle, all make acceptable sand-bonding agents for building a castle.

5. Surprisingly, swing seats with dried bird poop on them, will not be used. They are icky. Kids do have their limits. You can however flip the swing seat over, or rub it off on a nearby unsuspecting student.

6. If you are a kid on a swing, even if you have been on long enough to lose the feeling in the lower half of your body, if another kid comes up and wants a turn, you "JUST GOT ON". Time apparently stands still the moment you climb on a swing.

I may add on to this sometime soon.