Dog Update

Just in case anyone has followed our dog's progress I am posting an update. I blogged about her surgery first in Aug '08.
We took her for x rays about a month ago, and we were told that the bone hadn't quite healed just yet (that's 2 months after the surgery) This wasn't the best news, but the doctor said to just keep doing what we were doing and limit her activity a bit for another month, and she should be healed just fine. A little slower than some dogs, but still normal.
The month is up now. We are pretty much letting her do what she wants, but try to keep her from running after squirrels and barrelling down the stairs. The last thing we want is for her to injure the other leg, which we have been told, is very common...

That's an adventure we don't want to go through again.

Happy Halloween

Okay, I'm a big kid. I love Halloween and dressing up.

This year.....gargoyle, a bit different from my normal zombie.

I have mentioned before that I work at an elementary school, and I get great joy out of giving the kids a wee bit of a shock. Nobody has ever been frightened after they realized it was me, although you catch them staring when you're not looking.

It was a bit of an education for some as quite a few didn't know what a gargoyle was.

I will post a pic later, when hubby gets home with the camera..for now, I'll post a couple of pics from years past.....woooOOOOooooo brace yourself.

2007 Rockstar Zombie

basic zombie

okay, here`s the gargoyle......ta da!!

Told you I was a big kid.

I'm going to add a couple of updates to this old post.
This was 2009

 Witch 



 and 2010 Zombie Hippie

BOO

Cool stuff

One of the good things about being the kind of artist that creates actual images (as opposed to sculpture etc) is that you can put your images on things.
This is a new thing that they have at Cafe Press, and I think they look awesomme...it's called a flip mino, and I made a couple of them.
Here's one:http://www.cafepress.com/savageartworks.321245994

and another cool thing is making shoes at Zazzle, like these:http://www.zazzle.com/ladies_hot_pink_bunny_shoes_kedsshoe-167932920245736073

Fun huh?

Meet Thumper

This cat belongs to my niece, who is studying to be a veterinarian...and I know she will be great, she is a natural for it.
Thumper is a special cat, with deformed front legs... I have to get more details, but the bones are ...wrong, and there is no "wrist" on one of the front legs. He is also a polydactyl, with 6 toes on the front paws and 7 on the back.

BUT the cutest kitty ever!! I love this picture.

Dogs and house damage

I started back at school this week, and my husband was working at home. He couldn't really keep an eye on the dog, so he decided he would put the big Elizabethan collar doohickey on her because she is so bored, she has been chewing any part of her body that she can reach, and we don't want her getting any sore spots. We don't need more problems with her.

Anyways, he put the collar on and of course she reacted like we knew she would. She rampaged around the house causing as much damage as Godzilla in New York.

Then she stopped.

and sat. Very still.

She wouldn't move her head. She looked supremely miserable and started to drool. That plastic collar started to fill up with a big pool of drool. It was only to be a matter of time before it started to gag her and then there would have been a big shake of the head and we would be cleaning dog spit off of everything within a 3 meter area. So my husband took it off.

She calmed down and was fine. I guess some things are better left alone.

New Stuff

So my dog is doing well, still trying to keep her still, and that is not too bad. I guess the worst thing is me going stir crazy. I have only been out of the house for about 1 hour in the last week.

I have been watching every movie we have in the house, and I have done a fair bit of artwork.

What I have discovered is that it is true that people like owls. I have now painted and sold 15 sets of my owl nesting dolls. I started out figuring I would do a couple, but they continue to sell out very quickly.

They are not quick to paint or cheap to buy though. I have to order them online and wait a couple of weeks to get them...plus the shipping to Canada adds a fair bit to the price. I often do research online to make up different groupings of owls..like these ones that have sold:

Freaks, Geeks and Wierdos is a set of unusual and or rare owls- Spectacled owl, Oriental Bay owl, and Long Whiskered Owlett.

Going, Going, Gone was a set of two endangered owls Northern Spotted, and Burrowing Owls, and one exctinct owl, the little Laughing Owl.

The Owls in the Harry Potter books, is another set I have done. Errol the Great Grey Owl, The Malvoys Eagle Owl, Harry's Snowy Owl, Hedwig, Percy's Screech Owl and Ron's Scops Owl, Pigwidgeon.

Owls Down Under is a set of Autralian Owls, the Powerful Owl, Sooty Owl, Barking Owl and Boobook Owl.

I have also done a set of European Owls and a few sets of North American Owls. I have another idea or two to still do. It does take a bit of research and finding a good clear straight on picture can be hard, but I have learned a lot about an animal that I hadn't really thought about much before.

They take quite a while to do, several days at least, and I have been trying to keep my prices down so that they can get out there. I know I don't charge for half the time they take to paint, but it's really nice to see them go to new homes all over.

If there are any owl lovers out there that have any other ideas for a set theme, let me know, I'm all ears!

Huzzah

It's stitches out day!

My life is just so damn exciting.

My ass is getting fat

We have no crate, we have doggie in an enclosed space. We have two couches, and a couple of chairs and coffee tables blocking her in. The TV is there too, so we can sit and watch, and she is in the center, which makes her happy.

There is rarely anything on TV though, and I have gone through all the DVDs we have at home now.

I get to stay in the room with her most of the time, while everyone else goes about their business. I get to go grocery shopping once a week for about an hour, and someone else gets to watch her then, but when I'm at home, I know if I leave the room she will start getting antsy. She is putting more weight on her leg and when we take her out to go pee, or to our bedroom at night, she pulls hard and tries to go fast. It's hard to restrain her. We have been told that the more careful we are with her right now, the less problems we are likely to have, so we are being careful, we don't want to deal with this continuously for the next year like some people do when they get infections or re break the bone or pop some screws out.

Does this look like a sick dog?

I thought I would be a better couch potato than this, but even though I have the TV and the computer right here, it is getting boring, and I feel like I am turning into a blob.
I go back to work part time at the school in 2 weeks. It will be interesting to see what happens then. It will be my first real freedom from the house, in a month.

Update

Okay, so I suck at doing a daily diary.



My dog is doing pretty well. She is much more alert, probably because she is finished with the heavy pain meds. She is putting a little weight on her leg. She hasn't been licking/chewing her stitches. She is starting to get bored being in a small space all day, but if we let her out she will roam around too much, jump up and run when someone comes in the door, etc. My god, this is going to get tricky for the next month.

She has been going pee, in her special place, and we hose it down afterwards, so that is working really well.

She gets her staples out on Monday. How they do that I don't know. She is such a nervous dog around people, they may have to knock her out agin.

Her leg yesterday...looks so much better. Her fur is starting to grow back pretty quickly too.

Problem for the day

First night was not tooooo bad. The dog wanted to be where she usually is at night, in our room. So we sectioned off a part of it for her, and she was very happy. The only thing is that we didn't want to put the big collar on her because we figured she would hate, hate , hate it and would probably bang around a lot and keep us awake. Instead we chose to leave it off, and since I am a light sleeper and my hubby wakes up a few times in the night usually, we decided we would keep our ears open for any sounds of her licking her incision too much.

Of course neither of us got much sleep, because every time she licked her lips, our heads popped up to look at her. May try the collar tonight.

Today's task, is to figure out the peeing situation. To go outside, there is a fairly steep set of stairs (I think about 10 steps) She doesn't want to go down them and she's really not supposed to if we can help it. We got her down once, by helping with a belly strap to lift her a bit. She didn't like that and didn't want to come back in the house. My husband picked her up and carried her in. Quite a struggle and I wouldn't want him to try and carry her down. Kind of dangerous. There is no way I could get her up and down on my own.

Our solution, to turn our deck which is off the living/dining room area where she is being kept, , into a mini back yard.
We are tracking down a little bit of turf and will put it on our deck. It will be her own little space place for the next couple of months.

Okay, here we are. Very, very strange, I know, but it worked. We hose it down after she goes, so it doesn't get stinky. At least it's safer than risking our, and her life and limb getting her up and down the stairs. The things we do for our pets, eh?

My Dog's TPLO Surgery

I just brought our dog home from the hospital. She hurt her leg a few weeks ago and snapped one of the ligaments in her knee. This operation is pretty darned expensive, but we were told that especialy for a big dog like her, this is by far the best option for her. She's a 120 lb rotti/lab cross.
I am going to be sitting in this room with my dog a lot in the next while, making sure she doesn't chew out her stitches or do any jumping or running, she is confined to a limited space for the next couple of weeks. Putting her in a wire cage would be a good way to keep her confined, but we rescued her from a pretty nasty situation when she was a pup, and there is no way she will stay in one without causing herself more harm. I decided to keep a kind of journal for her and our daily experience.
I'll add pictures...some may be kind of gross, but maybe someone else would like to know what to expect if this happens to their pooch.

They shaved her whole leg, and while our baby is a tad overweight, her leg is quite swollen. We are told day 3 and 4 could be worse, but then it should get better. We have to apply cold (gel pack) to it 3 or 4 times a day for 10 minutes.

She is on Percocet for the first 5 days, also she is taking some other medication because when they shaved her leg they noticed that she has a skin condition that may make her itchy. (we didn't know that before)

Hair change

Haven't done anything besides streak my hair blonde, for a long time.

I thought I would try something different so I bought some Nice 'n Easy, "Natural Lighest Golden Brown".

Which apparently means "Red"

I actually like it quite a bit inside the house. t's not too light and has a sort of auburny look. It goes quite well with ny skin tone and makes my eyes look even greener.

When I go outside it looks like my head caught fire.

Sort of.

I trimmed it a little shorter too (dirty self-trimmer).

It IS nice and silky feeling and I might just keep it this way, or something similar, I'll have to see the reactions from the family when they get home.

Anyways, this is it.

One odd thing I found out, while trying to take a picture of myself. (I'm at an age where I have to take about 50 photos, to get one that doesn't look like I need major botox or a visit from Richard Simmons) I am a head tilter. Most of them are tilted to the right....and the ones where I was trying to keep my head straight, have me with a serious face (not a good look for me).

Just an observation.

Ears

I was looking through some old pictures a while ago, and while I knew our family had, in general, large ears, I didn't realize exactly how large. Like open car doors.
I have cropped a picture of me, at 5 years of age, just so you can see.
Have a look and see if you can see it peeking out from my hair.

Got it?

My dad use to call them Moe and Joe. Moe being a little more sticky-out than Joe.

My brothers had similar protuberances, except in those days the boys had no cover up with the shorter hair styles back then.

As a teen, I was always trying to cover them up. As I got older I really didn't care and often put them on display for kids at the school that I work at, when they think they have some physical shortcomings of their own.

My own kids have varying degrees of this ear thing. With one daughter, and one ear in particular always peeps out fron her long straight hair. I was very surprised one day, when she was about 16, and I was at the doctor with her for a sore throat, and he happened to say..."you know we can fix those ears if you want, I know a lot of girls are bothered by that". To my utter joy, my daughter looked at him and said "I would never change them, I love my ears. They are who I am."

God, I love my kids.

Living life to the fullest

It occurred to me the other day, that this expression means different things to different people. For some it means climbing a mountain or parachuting.
For my husband it means watching Rambo on a rainy day and drinking beer while watching hockey.
For me it means going to Michaels and buying paint and any other art or craft items that I want.
Then coming home and eating a bag of Malt Balls while I look at my new stuff. Now that's living.

Logos

I've been working on ideas for a business logo. I was thinking that most of what I do is cute little animals, and that might make a good image for a logo, and it would also balance out the savagery of my last name.

I have made a couple of black an white ones, they could go on a lot of things that way (although maybe a dark brown would be a little softer. I can do colour ones as well, but for now, it's black and white.

So I have this one:

and this one:

Any thoughts? I'm open to suggestions.

Age

Getting older is fascinating.

Like, why do some old guys get hair growing out of their ears? What possible reason could mother nature have for that? Especially because they loose it from on top of their heads. Do men that wear hearing aids have to shave inside their ears to get them in?
Like, why do toenails get harder? I almost took out my son's eye with toenail shrapnel, when I was clipping them yesterday. That's just not right.

They way you look at people is different with age too. I know that what someone looks like on the outside doesn't tell you anything about who they really are.
I used to hang with some offbeat people in my day, and was pretty cool (hippie).
My neighbourhood has some pretty hardcore goths. Now, I have nothing against goths, I even find their clothing and hair styles kind of neat, and I have 2 daughters that went through a kind of gothy stage for a while, and I was okay with that.
I have always been slightly disappointed that goths don't actually run around going "wOOOooooOoo! because I know I would if I were one. Just for kicks.
...I lost track.... oh yeah, goths just never look happy, and I feel bad for them. Would you still be a goth if dressed the part but you were all smiley and happy? Or is that something else?

What's in a name?

Almost as hard to come up with as names for your children. Although occasionally, it seems like people just don’t want to think about it too much. I can remember being a kid and having a cat named Lucky, and then the next cat we got was also named Lucky. Ironically neither cat was.
We had a lab cross named Penny, and a beagle named Tammy. Both names that were considered for me apparently, but were given to dogs instead.
I can remember sitting around the kitchen table writing names on paper that would be chosen out of a bowl. That was for our black shepherd. I wrote Thor, a brother wrote Brutus, and he ended up being called Ben. That was a good name for him.
I had guinea pigs named Bubbles and Pickles, I have no idea why. I was a kid.
Since I got married and started my own family we have had a cat named Dickens, not after the writer, but because he was a dickens. Also a cat named Claude, because that was what you got when you went near him “Claw’d”. Our kids names their cat Skittles (why?) and our first dog a golden retriever was a purebred and so appropriately we named him Montgomery (Monty). Two rabbits, Magic (black) and Twister (because he would run and then jump up in the air and twist around, also the movie was a big hit at the time) Our current dog is Tira, named by our kids after some anime character.
I always think of good names, like Achilles, so I could say “Achilles heal! When we don’t have a pet to name, but when we do have a new one, it just seems so daunting to come up with the right one.

Guess what day it is?

Friday!

I know I really should think of more things to write about, I'm off work today, for a professional day, so I'm doing some much needed catching up around the house.

But for now.

from this :
to this:

Saturday is shopping day

The wheels on the cart go round and stop, round and stop, round and stop.
The wheel on the cart go lock and slide, and turn hard to the left.

Seriously, I know they must keep the good buggies locked in the managers office for celebrities and the biggest spenders. because they are never outside in the buggy train when I go to get one. I always end up with one that has wonky wheels. AND you can't always tell right away. Sometimes it isn't until you get a bit of weight in your cart that the wheels start to squeek or lock or turn hard in one direction so you have a hard time not crashing into the displays.
This is not good.
Especially for someone like me that has been know to accidentally twist tie a bag of apples to the cords of my hoodie and then have it jump out of the cart and hang down in front of me when my husband started to push the cart away. Oh the humanity.
The other supermarket gripe I have is that they don't have those mechanical horsies for the kids to ride, out front anymore. I loved watching kids ride those things..the pure joy on their faces, and the slightly older kids trying to be cooler and not smile so much, even though you can tell they love it. Kids don't get those little things like we used to. (I know they usually get spoiled much, much more). I guess that's a rant for another day.

It's Friday!

From this:

To this:

Talk Like Bob Ross Day

Well I did anyways.

Not for any particular reason, I was just reminded of him, and....well he's just so infectious.

I can remember sitting with my mom, in front of the TV watching him work his magic.

Not so much for the artwork, but for the man himself. He's the one that taught me that there are no mistakes, only "happy accidents". Well, in art anyways, not so much in math homework I found out. My teacher didn't buy that. He'd "beat the devil" out of that big brush of his. Something that I discovered is completely unecessary and actually bad to do with pastels.

ooo this post needs a happy little tree!!!

............and I'll put it right............there--->

That makes this seem so much cozier don't you think?

I think actually I have to credit him with my animal painting in a way, because he was aways telling stories about them. I think he had a pet squirrel if I'm not mistaken, and he was always saying that the "little rascals" would be in the tree up high, or paint a happy bush and say "little raccoons and ol' possums 'n' stuff all live up in here". I just wanted to see them!

Anyways, thanks Mr Ross for being you.

Hold up...let's put that little rascal in a bush where he'll be happy.

Friday's Fotoshop

I think I'm going to try to do this or someting similar on Fridays, just a break from my yammering.

From this:

To this:

Painting a Memory Box

I recently had a friend of mine, request a box made for her friend that had recently lost a beloved dog. She wanted this dog and the man's two other dogs on one box.

I was given a photo with three dogs (not sitting right beside each other) and from that I drew a picture of them close together.

I then transferred the picture on to a simple wooden box.

Then I painted in the large areas and began to start the detail.

Then I filled in the requested background colour and finished up the details.

Finally, I worked on a fitting border, (huskies, sleigh) and put several coats of varnish and sanding it between coats.

These boxes can be used for anything, but I have heard people say they put in a few favourite pictures, a collar or dog tags, and then keep it somewhere they can always be reminded of their special friend.

I've been tagged!!

I hope she had paint free hands.
Here's the questions and my answers.

1. Name your two favorite Scrapbook Topics: .... Travel and animals.
2. What are the two best places you've been to: ...Banff (Rockies) and Bora Bora
3. Name two things you do every day: ..draw and cook (burn really, at least my smoke detector says so)
4. Name two things that pretty much everyone knows about you: ...I'm a nut and I like kids.
5. Name two places that you wish to visit:....Alaska and Australia
6. Two things that you may not know about me: I still lipsync to songs in my bedroom, and I have no rhythm.
7. Name two nicknames that you had at some point in your life: Licorice (my dad's nicname for me) and Terror (my brother)
8. Name two interesting jobs that you've had (good or bad): ..made contact lenses, and was Santa's elf.
9. What are two fun things that you do after work: ..paint, and read
10. Name two things that you would like to learn: ..playing the guitar and how to be the lady at the front of the parade that rides the horse.
11. What were the last two things that you downloaded or CDs that you bought: ...Stuttering, Ben's Brother and Nottingham Lace, Buckethead.
12. What were the last two books that you read:.. Book of The Dead, Douglas Preston and The Infinate, Douglas Clegg. (I appear to be on a Douglas kick, let me know if you have any other good Douglas book suggestions)
13. What two TV shows or movies from your childhood do you still enjoy watching after all these years? ..Star Trek, and Wizard of Oz.

So I'm going to tag a blog friend of ine and maybe we can get a glimpse of her inner self....Diana http://amutedpalette.blogspot.com/ so go check her wonderful self out in a few days and see if she's answered.

If she hasn't I suggest we get torches and angry mob her.

Morning, Oh Joy.

I wrote about this "animals and morning" thing last year, and am finding it is happening again this year.

The time of year when my cat starts to think she's a frickin' rooster.

At precicely 5:55 she starts walking up and down the hall outside my bedroom door, meowing.

I lobbed Tums and cough candies and anything else I could find in my nightstand drawer at her, but she just thought it was a demented form of dodgeball, and kept meowing. My eyes were still half closed and I didn't have my contacts in, so the missles didn't actually make contact. That may have been why she didn't run away.

During the week it isn't a problem, the alarm goes off about that time anyways. But last night (Friday) I put a bunch of marshmallows in my drawer and when she started up this morning, I was more prepared. Or so I thought. I forgot about the dog. I have a very lazy assed dog that usually sleeps in until 9:00 or so, but the smell of marshmallows flying through the air, aimed at the cat, woke her up and she started intercepting and eating my marshmallow ammunition before it reached the intended target. When she devoured it all, she started licking me.
My husband could sleep through all this. There will be no sleeping in for me.

Oddly enough, the rooster that lives across the field, doesn't start crowing until about 1:30 in the afternoon.

What I Learned Today

At school.
Snails have antlers on their heads and sometimes they fight with other snails with their antlers.

Also from somewhere, (ironically, I can't for the life of me remember where I heard this )
"Being an artist means that I forget what you tell me five minutes later, but in a year, I can still remember the curl of a hair on your cheek."
Too true.

My chop of the day.
From this:

To this:

Ode to My Man

Many years ago Steve Martin wrote his ode to his woman, this is my ode to my man.

When a woman meets the man she loves, everything changes.
Her heart races, her head spins (more than usual) and suddenly you're not wearing granny panties all the time. Quite a few years ago, I found the man I love, and I've put my feelings into this ode.

Ode To My Man

Some women need a man, and I need you.
To lift my spirits when I am sad.
To comfort me when I am down.
To drive when I am too drunk, or it's raining, or I don't know how to get there.
To walk beside me when there are scary people and I'm afraind of geting mugged.
To walk a suitable distance in front of me when you are all dirty.
To take the blame when I tell someone I can't go somewhere because you are sick.
To take the blame when I quietly fart in a grocery line.
To make me think I want sex, even though I don't think I want sex, until after repeated attempts to jump start me and then I think, "hey I guess sex would be ok"
To tell me I look good for my age, in as convincing a tone as possible.
To try my food before I have, even though I accidentally dumped half a shaker of pepper in it, and don't tell you that.
To be there when I need you and out of town for some of the other of the time.
To get things off the top shelf when I can't reach and am too lazy to get a chair.

My darling, although it may seem sentimental, I want to take this moment to tell you I love you (partly because I broke your lawnmower), and even though you are at work, I always have this (points to tiny ring on finger) to remind me.

Also will you pick up something for supper on the way home?
Love you hon.

Waking up, dreams and pee

I don't often get a chance to sleep in, but yesterday I wasn't feeling too well, and today was a day off, so...I did until about 9:00.
Getting a little older I find that is about the very latest I can go, before guilt about lazing around, or the need to pee, gets me up.
This morning I found myself in my dream world, in a very large and strange mall. There was a woman trying to walk with me and slow me down, but I was on a quest to find a bathroom.
There were bathrooms around but they were disgused as something else. I was getting desperate, and then... I woke up...having to pee really badly.
I have found quite often before that my dreams tell me when I have to get up to relieve myself.

When I work, my internal clock wakes me up at the same time every day, I never set an alarm.
My daughter tells me that she knows when to get up because in her dream she starts to tell people she can't go with them because she has to get ready for work.

I wish my internal clock had a snooze button, but I think mine was installed on my husband. He seems to have a couple of them. Including one that kicks in when he watches TV or a movie at night.

ACEO Oval?

I have been doing ACEO's (2.5" x 3.5") quite a bit, both originals and mini size prints of my paintings, but am wondering one thing.....can they be oval shaped?


The reason I an asking is because I have started a series of paintings on small oval plaques, which I am calling "Things in Holes". The plaques are actually 3.5 x 5. but I would make prints from them to sell as ACEO's. Of course I can crop and print it out rectangular, but thought that oval might be unique.


This is my first plaque.







Oh and Happy Easter!

Lists

I am a list addict. I actually made a list of things that I might blog about and "lists" was on my list.
I write a lot of lists. I make messy lists and then re-write them so they are tidy lists. Sometimes I add drawings of things and even colour them. I doodle around the edges.
Lists of things to do, to buy, chores, want lists, shows to watch, things I want to make lists of, you name it.
I have been doing a lot of art lists. What I need to do first and then what I want to do. It usually changes by the time I finish the first item because I change my mind or get a better idea. Then I have to write a new list.
On my chore lists I often list a couple of things that actually just did, so that I can cross them off my list right away and make me feel like I am making a dent in my list. Some things are just on the list every time and are things I never intend to do. Like sort out the stuff in the corner of the basement. Sometimes I hold off doing things because I would rather have a list that looks like I have done most of the stuff, than have to write a new list that has nothing crossed off yet. Sometimes I like the look of a new list or my old list gets lost, so I just re-do it. Sometimes I don't like to go out and just goof around and do nothing because then I won't be able to cross something off a list.
::Note to self:: Put goofing off and doing nothing on all lists in the future.
I have a hard time not putting post it notes everywhere too.

Where Has Your Art Been Used?

I guess the most unusual request from me, was that I do a couple of painitngs on slate, for a man that was going to re do his front doorway with slate. He was in the Lions Club and wanted lions on one piece and some other "big cat" on another piece.

I had no idea what to use, but after a bit of checking I found that I could use acrylics if I sealed it properly with an outdoor varnish. He was told he may have to put on a new coat occasionally if it started looking worn. The pieces would be protected by a roof so they would get little exposure to the elements.

He was thrilled, and as far as I know he has had no problems, that was about 15 years ago.

Tired

Just a quick bit here about daylight savings time. Normally I don't mind it but for some reason this year it got to me. I am just starting to get back to normal after being pooped out for a couple of days. Or it could be that I think I spent the entire night looking at the clock or dreaming that I was looking at the clock.
My mind was racing about all sorts of artistic ideas I had so I couldn't get to sleep. I saw 11:34, 11:58, 12:36, 1:59, 2:45, I think 2: 92 ...... (then my favourite part of the night zzzz), then 5:02, I believe I saw G:OB which must have been 6:08 (oh, I don't have my contacts in at night) and woke up at 7:28.

Different Ways People Make Peanut Butter Sandwiches

Martha Stewart:

1. Grind wheat, make bread dough and bake bread.
2. Get top quality, hard to find, no preservative, hand made by nuns or monks using peanuts too good even for squirrels, peanut buerre.
3. Get jar of last summer's home made strawberry preserves that you slaved over and gave to all your friends instead of gifts at last Christmas.
4. Cut cooled bread into nice thick slices.
5. Generously spread peanut buerre on one piece of bread. Sprinkle nutmeg on top.
6. Spread jam on the other slice of bread. Top with fresh strawberries cut into rose florettes.
7. Arrange bread on an attractive plate, side by side. Top with melted Ghirardeli chocolate and add a sprig of mint on the side of the plate.
8. Enjoy with a friend.

Oprah

1. Scour the stores for your favourite peanut butter and jam, buy caseloads of it.
2. Get 100 loaves of your favourite healthy bread.
3. Call Maya Angelou to come over and inspire you.
4. Get Gayle to come over for the big kitchen adventure, put on some music.
5. Layout the bread all over the place and start spreading the peanut butter and jam, have fun and then tell Gayle to stop singing.
6. Make lots of "yummy" noises".
7. Slam the sandwiches together, wrap then in cellophane, tied with a big huge bow.
8. Give them away to needy people.
9. Show clips of what you did on your TV show


M. Knight Shyamalan

1. Goes to the kitchen and gets all ingredients out.
2. Begins to spread the peanut butter, but looks out the window and sees a woman by the pool.
3. Goes outside to investigate...when he gets there he finds that she has disappeared.
4. Comes back into the kitchen to discover that the sandwich has been made, and a small delicate bite has been taken out of it. Yet he can see no one around.
5. Get a glass of water, take a sip while contemplating this, and put it on the counter with several other glasses of water, wanting no more because it is contaminated.
6. In a surprise twist, he decides that he wanted a tuna sandwich anyways.


Jerry Seinfeld:

1. Realizes that he has run out of cereal and only has peanut butter in the cupboard.
2. Wash hands.
3. Get out the white bread, jam and new jar of peanut butter.
4. Take lid off the peanut butter and see a whole peanut sitting on the top. Wonder "What's the deal with the whole peanut sitting on top of my peanut butter? Am I supposed to crush it? Am I supposed to throw it away? Am I supposed to eat it, and if so will the peanut butter live up to my expectations after eating the real thing?" Throw it away.
5. Get a clean knife and smoothly spread the peanut butter on the bread.
6. Wash the knife.
7. Open the jam...yada...yada...yada...
8. Yada...cut the finished sandwich.
9. Go to answer the ringing phone. Come back to see Kramer standing there just finishing off the sandwich. Shrug and put arms in the "whatever" position.

Criss Angel, Mindfreak:

1. Takes a bag of sandwich fixins and goes to find an audience on the street.
2. Rips small pieces of bread and stuffs them in his mouth.
3. Using his fingers, puts the peanut butter up one nostril and jam up the other.
4. Put a foot long piece of saran wrap in left breast pocket.
5. Cause some sort of diversion, like setting himself on fire.
6. Opens his mouth and takes out a small object, unfolds it to reveal a fully made and saran wrapped peanut butter and jam sandwich.
7. Smile mysteriously and knowingly.


How I would make a peanut butter sandwich.

1. Put on protective gear.
2. Get a stool, climb up, take peanut butter from cupboard.
3. Take jelly, teapot and reading glasses out of the fridge.
4. Wash finger. (foodsafe training kicked in)
5. Dip finger in peanut butter, and taste test.
6. Get out bread and spread peanut butter generously on bread. Wipe hand on butt leaving peanut butter finger prints on ass. (Note: smell of peanut butter on ass attracts the dog)
7. Spead jelly, lick the knife and spill jelly on protective gear on chest.
8. Put pieces of bread together, and cut....finger, then sandwich in half.
9. Bandage finger, take off protective gear, go sit down and eat sandwich. Squirt jelly out onto chest when taking first bite.
10. Fight off dog trying to lick jelly of my chest

What Are You Looking At?

I had to take the bus today, and it remimded me of something I had blogged about before.

I have discovered that if you are out on the street (or maybe going down a long corridor) , and you recognize someone coming towards you, you should pretend that you don't see them, look to the left, right, floor, anything until you are about 8 feet away, then look up and exchange pleasantries.
Otherwise you are facing the ghastly prospect of recognizing them all the way, nods, smiles, goofy faces, shrugging, etc. You can only do so much of that.
On elevators, you can only glance at people once, twice, makes people wonder about you, and three times then you become an elevator stalker. Same thing applies to public transport. If you do look at someone too much and they catch you, you have to pretend that you are kind of looking off to the side of them with a vacant kind of stare.
My eyes can glaze over pretty damn quickly when the have to.
These are the rules of a good society.

Bras

Is there a woman alive that has large boobs that does not look forward to taking off her bra at the end of the day?

Brassieres have to fit perfectly and be well made or you get the back riding up, straps digging in, boob hanging out of the bottom, overflow bumps at the top, and the sides curving like a dam ready to burst. Even if you do get a good one, they lose their oomph fairly soon. Then the tugging, adjusting and misery begins. .
There are some advantages to wearing a bra, such as hiding, keys, money, snacks etc. They can be used as a slingshot or earwarmers on cold days, in a pinch.
However on the con side, they also become a catch-all for cookie crumbs and occasionally grapes or other small projectiles that people try to toss in your cleavage. It's a bugger having to live with large crumbs in your bra until you can find somewhere to have a good shake out. I won't talk about the sweat underneath your bosom on hot days, because I don't sweat.

Of course they can be sexy and pretty and put your puppies on display very attractively, and bras do provide support. However when you get older, it's not so much about display as it is just being corrective underwear, getting them to stay in place in the appropriate part of your body……..and corrective underwear sucks. Age is not a friend of tatas. I have come to a conclusion that by the time I am 65 they will be pants-tuckable. I am going to retire my bras and just stick my boobs in a nice cozy pair of socks.

More playground tidbits

-Sticks. I cannot stress enough the importance and status of having a good stick. It is a symbol of power. "He who hath the stick, hath the power." The bigger the stick the greater the power. Basic pirate style sword fighting with sticks has been replaced first, with Star Wars lightsaber fighting and more recently with Naruto (anime) style fighting.
Sticks are also essential for poking and turning over dead stuff, and poking and flinging dog poo at your enemies.

-Kids that eat gross stuff. Mainly worms. At our school it is an angelic looking six year old girl. Other kids are excited and yet repelled by this, but of course are always there to encourage it. Once a worm has been devoured, it is an unspoken rule that you must keep a distance of at least three feet in case of wormy upchuck or just being touched by wormy fingers.

-Biters. Most of the time they seem normal, until they freak out and become pitbulls. Cute pitbulls but just as tenatious. Every child knows who the biters are, what sets them off, and gives them a wide berth, keeping limbs away from the mouthal area. Except for the new kids, they usually find out the hard way.

-Firestarters are pretty much at the pinnacle of kids the grade school bad boy scale. They often lure easily duped kids behind the bushes to watch them burn something. It could be anything, and probably it belongs to someone else. Often they are discovered, sometimes because of a telltale waft of smoke, but more likely because other kids really love to snitch about something that is considered quite bad in the world of elementary school no nos.

Little Known Facts of The Playground

I wrote this a while go. I supervise at a school at noon hour so I am an expert, yes I am.

1. In a playground, when there is gravel (or some similar ground cover), if there is a "deposit" left by a wayward dog, rather than tell someone that there is poop on the ground so you can remove it, kids will bury it in the gravel, rendering it invisible.

2. Some kids like to pee and watch it go down the slide. We call these kids Scott.

3. Throwing up after twisting the swing around and around and around and around, and then letting it go to spin around and around and around, is common. This vomit on the ground can also be rendered invisible with the "cat- litterbox" method of covering it up.
::Note to nervous moms:: Throwing up like this is no sweat for a kid. They do it all the time, wipe their mouth with the back of their hand, wipe their hand on your pants when you go to check on them, and they are good to go.

4. In the sandbox, water, milk, juice, and ...uh...tinkle, all make acceptable sand-bonding agents for building a castle.

5. Surprisingly, swing seats with dried bird poop on them, will not be used. They are icky. Kids do have their limits. You can however flip the swing seat over, or rub it off on a nearby unsuspecting student.

6. If you are a kid on a swing, even if you have been on long enough to lose the feeling in the lower half of your body, if another kid comes up and wants a turn, you "JUST GOT ON". Time apparently stands still the moment you climb on a swing.

I may add on to this sometime soon.

Cats vs Dogs

The cats have stepped it up a notch.

Timing

Anybody else having problems getting on to Etsy right now?

Grrrrrrrr...

Okay, that was a short lived crisis. It's back.

It really hits home when something like that happens. Panic sets in....did I get booted out?...did Etsy suddenly decide to not be there anymore? ...did my computer go nuts?.. is my firewall stupid?...how long will this last? ... what am I going to do now?...am I going to have to do housework to keep busy?..what is housework?

Without fail, when I am really wanting to do something online, either posting something or uploading something I think is important, it will happen then.

The other thing that happens is that when I am getting into a good discussion or getting some serious artwork done, the family starts coming around asking when dinner is going to be ready.

Pet Portraits.

I sometimes do pet portraits.

This was my old dog Monty:

This is my current dog Tira:

One of my current projects is a painting of someones dog. As with ...well most of the pet portraits that I have done, this beloved pet has passed on.

I can't think of any other paintings that I do that give me both the fear and the excitement that pet portraits do. These are hugely emotional for those that ask for them.

I know some people think.."You paint dogs! Where's the creativity in that?" Well it's not so much creativity as it is sensitivity. You have to find the special quality in that pet that the owner will recognize.

It is scary. I can paint, say a wolf, and if I forget to paint his ear or give him a lump on his head, well who's to know that he wasn't just attacked by another wolf. I can do what I want, because it' s just a random wolf. If I were to give someones loved dog, a gimpy eye, or a weird shaped nose, they will notice. What you really need to nail is the expression. If you get that right, and luckily so far I pretty much always have, you will get a reaction unlike any other art buyer. Smiles, joy, tears. A lot of times tears. That's the big payoff in doing pet portraits.

(I don't mean that I like to make people cry)

(Also just so you know I don't usually give my wolves bumps on the head or missing ears)

Scattered

Am I the only one that seems to get a pile of projects and ideas all at the same time, and doesn't know where to start?

Right now I have a couple already on the go.
I have a little duck ACEO in pencil crayons, that I started and carry to work with me hoping that I will get a few minuties to work on it.
I found an old picture of a tiger, in pastels, that I had pretty much finished except for some details, and I am going to finally finish that one.
I have an idea that I am excited about, that I can't wait to start, but haven't decided what medium to use.
I know I will be doing a series of marine mammals...for someone soon.
..and now I have a pet portrait comissioned, in acrylics, on wood. So my other stuff will go on the back burner for now. Sometimes the decision on where to start, is taken out of your hands, when you have an actual, real client to do work for.

That's all for now.

Except for one final question.
Why am I the only one in my family of five, with the apparent physical ability to change the toilet paper roll?

Classificus Animalia Humanus

Continuing from the note in my previous blog about "if otters were people". I remembered what I was thinking.
This is kind of my two worlds colliding, working with kids, and painting animals.

If otters were kids, they would absolutely be those adorable little charmers, that say "Don't you look nice today Mrs. S", and then as soon as your back is turned they wing a paperball at the back of your head, or stick something on your back.

Fawns, well that's a no brainer. They would be the sweet, shy girls that you can't help but liking.

Squirrels, most definitely are the loopy kids that can't stay still. They also rush through their lunch and stuff food in their cheeks so that they can continue to eat while they are playing soccer, or chasing the girls around while weilding a worm. There are a growing number of squirrels at school these days.

Most kids fall into the puppy category. Both good and bad sometimes. Do what they are asked to, hoping to please and do well. Bark worse than bite, occasionally get cooties, and look at you with sad little eyes when they want something. Then they do something that makes you laugh or go "awww".

There are of course always one or two that remind me of those big, hairy cats that get poop matted and dangling from their bottoms, but I won't go into that.

This is in no way meant to be derogatory by the way. I love them little squirts.

Middle of the night notes

I suppose a lot of people do this...

I find that the time when I get ideas, are when I am just going to sleep or just waking up. I often used to repeat things over in my head so that I would remember them the next day, but that definitely didn't work. So what I do now is always have a pen and paper beside the bed so that I can write it down, in the dark, and let my mind rest at ease that the idea will be put into action in the near future.

Except sometimes I wake up to find notes like this one.

I can make out -cute girl cards...okay, - paint (some kind of ) dog...okay, if otters were people..huh?, and aliens (doing something ) to my head...double huh?

Finished

....and here we go!!

Sort of softened it all up using my secret magical voodoo.

He kind of looks like he is praying for something.
Maybe a big crab.

I call this painting.

"Clamchops"
9" x 12"

Stage 6

Just about done!!

Continued to add details light and dark.

I just love otters. My daughter loves belugas, but otters have the personality I think.They just look like little rascals. I found another picture that I think is freakin' adorable....

Stage 5

Just added light colour detail to the arms and more detail on the stomach.

It occurred to me that I have never painted anything like this and don't really know what the heck I am doing!

The fur is dry and wet, it goes all over theplace in every direction......like my brain, and I'm sort of winging it.